Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I have sidewalk rage

I admit it, I have sidewalk rage. It seems to be an epidemic in NYC, as per:
. I can think of two instances when we lived in NYC and my rage manifested itself.

The first time I think Danny was going to have a hernia from laughing so hard. We were cutting across the south end of Times Square (hell on Earth for any non-tourist) which was a mistake in and of itself. And for anyone who doesn't know about the walk signals in NYC, there are two lights, one is white in the shape of a man walking, the other is red and in the shape of a hand. When the white man is on, it is clear to walk. When the red hand blinks, it means to run to the other side of the street because the light is about to change. When the red hand is solid, you're not supposed to cross, but as long as there are no cabs speeding towards you, general rule is it's ok to cross. Back in hell, as we approached Broadway to cross, a tourist sees the light switch from white man to blinking red hand and screeches to a halt at the curb, sending me into him. I manage to graze him (or try to shoulder check him into traffic, same difference) as I shouted "Outta my way, tourist!" and kept on walking. I'm sure he went home and told everyone in his little hometown how evil everyone is in New York.

The second was a sunny afternoon on my normal commute down 1st ave where it is normally not crowded. A woman stepped out in front of me and started walking so.damn.slow. I thought about kicking her in the back of the leg. I almost did it too, but I held it together and walked by her. As i passed I noticed she was about 9 months pregnant.... good thing I didn't kick her!

Moral of the story: As long as the other pedestrian isn't pregnant, it's ok to use the sidewalk as a bumper car arena.


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